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About

Sophia is an eighteen year old dreamer, lover, skater, deviant, singer, artist, actress. model, rebel, lazy bum, otaku, frag doll, coffee-addict, pessimist, single-and-pretending-to-be-happy-about-it, overscheduled, undersexed, buys any magazine that says 'healthy body image' on the cover and every two years takes up knitting for...a week.

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do you know that I can drift backwards? Friday, September 28, 2007 |

I am addicted to Initial D, the anime, the manga, the arcade game and cars in general. Ask Frannie, most things I talk about these days are drifting, how to turn properly at Irohazaka, my times at Tsukuba and why naturally aspirated cars are better then turbo charged ones. I'm addicted to drifts I wanna drift in real life =(

Anyway funny little quiz. I got Mako funny we drive the same cars and yeah, I should focus more, keep my eyes on the road and remember to counter steer.


You're not bad. Just... keep your eyes on the road, and calm down.

Et si c'était vrai Saturday, September 22, 2007 |

goodbye.

That exhibit of mine! Friday, September 21, 2007 |

Plug! I'll be having an exhibit at UP Diliman, (c/o the nice fine arts people at UP Diliman). I will have my own corner to put my stuff. I'll be mostly putting up photographs, prints, and some watercolor paintings and pencil crayon arts. I'll be on next week, wed to sat. ^^

In case you're going (or if you're there), you can text me and so I can be there just for you, but to be sure, I will be there after classes about 2pm onwards. Everyone, Please come!

a message to you... Wednesday, September 19, 2007 |

Do you know this girl?

She's the one you call when you're bored because she makes you laugh. She's the one you talk to when you're feeling down because she's willing to lend an ear and be a friend. She's not the one you call when you need a date to your company's Christmas party, or to go dancing with on a Saturday night. She's the one you spend time with between girlfriends, before you find "The One". You know, the one who you keep around in the meantime.

She's not one of the guys, not a tomboy, but you don't look at her as a "real" woman, either. She's not bitchy enough, moody enough, or sexy enough to be seen in that light. She's too laid-back, too easily amused by the same things your male buddies are amused by. She's too understanding, too comfortable - she doesn't make you feel nervous or excited the way a "real" woman does. But she's cool, and nice, and funny, and attractive enough that when you're lonely or horny and need intimate female companionship, she'll do just fine. You don't have to wine and dine her because she knows the real you already, and you don't have any facades to keep up, no pretenses to preserve. You're not trying to get anything of substance out of her. She's not easy, but you know that she cares about you and is attracted to you, and that she'll give you the intimacy you need. And you know you don't have to explain yourself or the situation, that she'll be able to cope with the fact that this isn't the beginning of a relationship or that there's any possibility that you have any real romantic feelings for her. It won't bother her that you'll get up in the morning, put on your pants, say goodbye, and go on a date with the woman you've been mooning over for weeks who finally agreed to go out with you. She'll settle for a goodbye hug and a promise to call her and tell her how the date went. She's just so cool . . . why can't all women be like that?!

But deep down, if you really think about it (which you probably don't be cause to you, the situation between the two of you isn't important enough to merit any real thought), you know that it's really not fair. You know that although she would never say it, it hurts her to know that despite all her good points and all the fun you two have, you don't think she's good enough to spend any real time with. Sure, it's mostly her fault, because she doesn't have to give in to your needs - she could play the hard-to-get bitch like the rest of them do, if she really wanted to. But you and she both know that she probably couldn't pull it off. Whatever the reason, somehow life has given her a lot of really great qualities but has left out the ones that men want (or think they want) in a woman. So she remains forever the funny friend, the steadfast companion, the secret lover, and you go on searching for your goddess who will somehow be everything you ever wanted in a woman.

You'll joke to her that she should be the best man at your wedding, and she'll laugh and make a joke about a smelly rental tux.

She doesn't captivate you with her beauty, or open doors with her smile. Mainly she blends in with the crowd. She's safe. She doesn't want to be the center of attention and turn the heads of everyone in the room. But she wants to turn someone's head. She wants to be special to someone, too. We all do. She has feelings. She has a heart. In fact, she probably has a bigger and better heart than any woman you've ever known because she's had a front-row seat to The Mess That Is Your Life, and she likes you anyway. She obviously sees something worthwhile and redeeming in you because although you've given her nothing, absolutely no reason to still be around, she still is.

It takes two to tango and one to let go. |

Have you ever had a great day?
You know like one where you smiled all day, your friends kept you laughing and you we're just really really happy?

And then you're on your way somewhere. Anywhere really.
But suddenly, you don't feel happy.
The children playing on the streets don't make you smile.
A happy couple doesn't make you smile.
Watching a family have fun together just makes you sad.
Basically, it's like you weren't even happy just a few minutes ago.

Then you just feel unhappy.
Grr. Like you want to cry.

EEK. I felt that today after lunch.
It was raining and it was gloomy.
Wala lang.
It felt weird and sad and well, really weird.

Because I am very bored, I have been looking at every folder, file, document, picture and anything saved in my computer. I have found very interesting pictures.

Very old ones actually. Some when I was in Alabang, some in Bel-air, some in Seoul, some in New York, some at Rome. I just realiazed that I lived in so many places, seen so many sights, done so many things.

Oh and Yesterday was an entertaining day.
We had a photoshoot with Seventeen magazine.
Daniel and his little sister Anya were with us.

You're so worth the fight Saturday, September 15, 2007 |

In other words. RAWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

I just need to breathe from a million things. A million and one things.
I seriously just need to breathe.

I'm confused. I'm too confused. I hate this feeling.

Today was a little bit crappy. It was good in the end. (in school) I had lunch with my girlfriends. ANDD. My favorite KINKY guy came :D HAHA. (Iggi)
We went to the arcade stayed there for about 1 to almost 2 hours. It relieved stress. I <3 Initial D v. 4, although I suck at it but I'm learning now, penalty cancel, understeer ek-ek and how to turn w/o hitting the wall!

Now I'm at home, I'm going to need to relieve stress again.
I'm gonna try and relax. I'm going to watch Ratatouille (is that right?). Well, whatever. The rat movie.

It seems that my mission addiction on Eve is back (thanks to Jared!) which is good and bad or whatever, I'm confused. I'm too confused. I hate this feeling. Someone give me a great CNR fit. The one that fits with 900 CPU and doesn't use capacitor relays and can run the booster forever. Ok, that's too geeky.



I need to tank this.

PS: Mmmmmwah!

Bonjour, Ça va ? Thursday, September 06, 2007 |





sometimes I love you sometimes I don't Monday, September 03, 2007 |

I've been sitting here for 40 minutes and I've read all the posts in this blog and my old blogs. That's all I've been doing.

I am home alone eating gummy bears. If I post too many things that do not have anything and common or aren't related at all in whatsoever way, pardon me. I am bored. I have the right to be a scatter-brain right now.
Besides, I haven't blogged in a long time and things run through my mind like ALL the time. So, I have to blog a lot in this post.

Funny, time goes by like really fast. Hazel would say, killer. It really is a killer. I swear. So much has happened, so many things are over and done with. So many moments and times lost.

I'm happier.
Like, seriously, in my first blog post, October 2001, things were different. Waay different. Different country, different friends, different someone, different everything.
Then I read the posts in my second blog. I actually created my second blog because I needed something new. I needed a different "now" back then. My second blog is happier.
I've become a happier person:) I mean, okay. I was really happy in Rome. Everything was so bright and sunny there. I had great friends. Then I moved back to the Philippines and I kept my Rome friends, I have new ones now and I'm happier. Moving back made me realize how important it is to keep the friends who really matter and who are really always there for me, treasure them and love the new ones as well. BUT. That's not my point. I am happier. I read my life in the past two year and, I am actually happier. Seriously. I'm happy. Like, the fact that I'm not with my old barkada anymore. I love my friends now, especially my new barkada. I miss them more often then I've missed friend whom I've seen like hours ago. Really. Everything about my now is happy.

My LJ blog is only there for rants. I don't think people even know I have one. Well, I do. Go look for it if you must.

Seriously?
Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if your past hadn't happened the way it did? Like something small that you've forgotten about, something that could have made your life different? Or someone who did not enter your life at all? What if one of those people you see everyday or hear from everyday, what if they weren't there? What do they really mean to you and how different would you be without them? The people you depend on, the people you care about, what if one day, you wake up and they aren't there anymore. What if they've changed? If for some reason, they aren't them. How would your life be?
Reading my previous blog posts and everything, I saw all the people who've meant so much to me in the past year up till now. For most of them, I realized that if they hadn't come into my life I wouldn't be me. Seriously. You really meet everyone for a reason. Regardless of whether they make you happy or not, hurt you or love you, keep you company when you've got nothing to do, pick on you and make your life miserable, all these people are here for some bloody reason that most of the time, you don't figure out till they're gone.

When you want something bad enough, the universe conspires to help you get it.
How true is that?
There are certain things that we don't have control of, and yet, there are things that I do not want to change. There are days and moments that I want to last forever. There are people I want to hold on to forever. But I'm eighteen. So much can happen. I've got so much to do. People don't always stick by you, right? There are always a few who slip away. Just like sand, the harder you hold on to it, the more gets away. What if it's too hard to not hold on to someone so much? How do you not let them slip away? Even if people say they'll always be there. Even they can't prove that. How do you not lose someone? And when new things come along, when other forms of happiness and whatever come along, how do you let them in your life when you feel that every thing's already set and steady and calm?

I seriously need to not think for a while and study. Being home alone and sitting out staring at the starless sky makes you think of a billion and one things.