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About

Sophia is an eighteen year old dreamer, lover, skater, deviant, singer, artist, actress. model, rebel, lazy bum, otaku, frag doll, coffee-addict, pessimist, single-and-pretending-to-be-happy-about-it, overscheduled, undersexed, buys any magazine that says 'healthy body image' on the cover and every two years takes up knitting for...a week.

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i only need myself Sunday, April 30, 2006 |

Today was such a bad day, it seems like every problem i have caught up to me. i just broke down and cried. Worrying about tomorrow, what will happen, uncertainties, love problems, friends, family problems, school, how stupid the world is.

Today, i was just out, i just dont want to talk to people, i dont want to fake a smile and be my happy genki mode. Because of that i ignored alot of my friends, turned down invites to hang out, i was bitchy i was cursing at some poeple. Or maybe i need those encouraging words.

And then, everybody hates me now, most people are in 'tampo' to me because of ignoring them blah blah blah blah, and the sad thing is. none of them even asked me.. "what's wrong sophie?"

for my so called 'friends'..
maybe you just don't care. maybe you don't care about me. you are not a friend after all. i've done so many things to you. i was always there for you. and at the time i need you the most, all you can do is make it harder for me.

i don't need you. i only need myself.

tagged! Saturday, April 29, 2006 |

Here you go guys, My list of 4's (stolen from cai's) hehe..

4 Jobs I've had in my life:

a. Babysitter?
b. awww.
c. i can't think of any anymore.
d. sad.


4 Movies I can watch over and over (and over):

a. A Walk to Remember
b. Any Harry Potter Movie - I can stare at Emma forever.. and ever.. and ever..
c. Pirates of the Carribean - omg, kiera+orlando+johnnydepp.... *drools*
d. Lord of the Rings (LEGOLASSSS!~)


4 Websites I visit regularly

a. 4chan
b. Ragnarok Boards (RB, Ragnainfo, Roemp, Ragnagate etc.)
c. iTunes (can that be consider a website?)
d. Minitokyo + Deviantart

4 Favorite Foods

a. French Rolls from Priscilla's Candy Shop - Its this log, for lack of a better word, of chocolate-y, fudge-y goodness rolled in crushed nuts. Heaven on waxed paper.
b. Jelly candies from Candy Corner
c. Mille~Feulle ~ omg french desserts T__T
d. Is gelatto a "food"?

4 Places I would rather be right now

a. Pelago, Italy (in Tuscany) i loooove this place.
b. A warm beach with my toes in the sand.
c. Our old place at alabang. i wanna be near alabang town center.
d. Glorietta 4 cinema lobby, c'mon i can live there, starbucks, timezone, burger king, wendys and the cinema, perfect place.


4 Songs I can Listen to over and over again.

a. The Voice Within - Cristina Aguilera
b. The Prayer - Andrea Brocelli + Celene Dion
c. Unwritten - Natasha Beningfield
d. Over - Lindsay Lohan (i know, i know *swt* but i love this song)

4 Reasons why I blog.

a. Cheap Therapy
b. To help me remember things.
c. Because I've got so much extra time on my hands (Ha!)
d. Penance for doing so poorly in Ms. Ong's English classes. hehe.

*mwah* Friday, April 28, 2006 |

Miss Maria Francesca Yapyuco, I love you. =)

don't cry.. |

Young girl don’t cry
I’ll be right here when your world starts to fall
Young girl it’s alright
Your tears will dry, you’ll soon be free to fly

When you’re safe inside your room you tend to dream
Of a place where nothing’s harder than it seems
No one ever wants or bothers to explain
Of the heartache life can bring and what it means

Young girl don’t hide
You’ll never change if you just run away
Young girl just hold tight
Soon you’re gonna see your brighter day

Now in a world where innocence is quickly claimed
It’s so hard to stand your ground when you’re so afraid
No one reaches out a hand for you to hold
When you look outside look inside to your soul

When there’s no one else, look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend just trust the voice within
Then you’ll find the strength that will guide your way
You’ll learn to begin to trust the voice within

Tsubasa Chronicles Tuesday, April 25, 2006 |

Yesh, *points at title* i am officially addicted to that anime/manga. =) CLAMP girls are really the best at what they do, and i think the anime doesn't give them any justice. im such a sucker for love stories.

As you might have noticed, im not doing really well at school, *kicks stupid complex math*. Somehow, i just cannot grasp the concept of contour intergration and residues. That is making me sad. Our first exam will be on friday, and i still havn't done any problem sets or studied. hahaaay T_T.

My dad and I had this conversation over the dinner table while my mother was making a salad in the kitchen:
I go, "Do you think they'll show 'The Omen' in the Philippines?"
Dad: "Sure! They showed the original, I think they even had part 2."
Sofi: "Okay."
Dad: "You know, what I want to see is the love story between Jesus and Mary Magdalene."
Sofi: "The Da Vinci Code?"
Dad: "No, a movie about their love story! They haven't made a movie about it yet..."
Sofi: "They never will."
My dad chuckles, says, "Well the priests say they had a love story..."
Sofi: "What priests?!"
i was incredulous because i never heard of any priest saying that. Also because Dad is funny that way. Funny and a little scary, if you know what i mean. Actually i don't know what i mean; maybe i am overly conservative and can't picture a divine figure like Jesus Christ falling in [romantic] love, even if He was human.

Speaking of being overly conservative, i think it's being a bad trait of mine. Maybe because my mom is a super conservative person, it all rubbed onto us. If you were an ex-bf of mine you would know that i don't kiss on the lips, i don't flirt with sexy kinky things, i'm not really fond of hugs and public display of affection, and sex would be the last thing on my mind. i do not get why people do sex at age 14, maybe i am just too old fashioned. But hey, i am changing... *wink*

help! Thursday, April 20, 2006 |

Hello everyone! (hehe) Would any of you happen to be in the know about complex functions.. transforms.. residues.. systems of equations..and other things like that? I am in dire need of your help. I am willing to pay like by the hour or something

100 things. Friday, April 14, 2006 |

since im bored and i dont wanna go to church.

1. i like to write.

2. i adore Scrabble.

3. i usually win.

4. Unless i'm playing my mother.

5. i like to keep the score sheets documenting my victories.

6. i'm the only one who enjoys looking at them.

7. i know, i know. It shocks me too.

8. I don't always like being in charge.

9. But i often end up there.

10. i'm 5'-4".

11. i dont usually capitalize i.

12. i used to be painfully shy.

13. i forced myself to become good at interacting with strangers.

14. i'm glad i did because it makes life easier.

15. i still consider myself shy but now only I know it.

16. i fell in love at age 18.

17. With a woman.

18. i have a boyfriend at the time.

19. Yes, it was a f*cked up situation.

20. i'm good at analyzing numbers.

21. Spreadsheets and budgets rock my world.

22. But i'm not good at doing math in my head.

23. i find that embarrassing.

24. i'm a naturally good speller.

25. i am a voracious reader.

26. My father taught me how to play chess.

27. i didn't beat him at it until I was 18.

28. We haven't played since.

29. i don't like mashed potatoes.

30. i don't like beans either.

31. It's a texture thing.

32. My friend Mara thinks i am sensorily challenged.

33. i don't hold that against her.

34. She's probably right.

35. i love to draw.

36. i like to think i'm a good one.

37. I don't fit many of the stereotypical lesbian prototypes.

38. People get confused because i don't.

39. Maybe i'm not.

40. Maybe i'm just confused.

41. i also like guys.

42. So sue me.

43. i've gone skinny dippin' once.

44. i don't ever want to do it again.

45. But i can if i have to.

46. I have a sweet tooth.

47. Calculus was the only class I ever failed in school.

48. i'm graduating this year

49. i didn't starve.

50. i'm clumsy.

51. i always put a little make-up.

52. Sometimes i have trouble sitting still.

53. i played clarinet in a band in high school.

54. i love music.

55. i make up silly words for songs.

56. i often sing them out loud.

57. Yes, even when i'm not alone.

58. i like to dance with my dogs.

59. i consider myself conservative.

60. Other people don't.

61. i've always adored sex.

62. Even though i'm still a virgin.

63. i'm not a morning person.

64. i drink my coffee with milk.

65. i like skirts.

66. Not the short ones.

67. i love sandals too.

68. i worry a lot.

69. i don't own a hairbrush.

70. i have naturally straight hair.

71. i'm vain.

72. i make really good spaghetti with meat sauce.

73. i have three sisters.

74. My mother is an only child.

75. i used to think my father was an only child too.

76. One day i'm going to write a novel.

77. i love movies.

78. i love dogs.

79. i love cats too but I am allergic.

80. i adore ice hockey and figure skating.

81. i hate smokers.

82. i've lived in the same general geographic area for 20 years.

83. i am irrationally fearful of heights.

84. i like pepperoni and mushrooms on my pizza.

85. i rate Chinese restaurants based on the quality of their hot and sour soup.

86. i have a short attention span.

87. i enjoy playing video games, especially role-playing ones.

88. i love music games.

89. i have small feet.

90. And small hands too.

91. My girlfriend loves my hands.

92. i love hers, too. Along with the rest of her.

93. i really want to live closer to the ocean.

94. i love the beach in all seasons.

95. My computer is my friend.

96. i hope to grow old gracefully.

97. im so confused right now.

98. i want to spend the rest of my life with Francesca.

99. i love my girlfriend.

100. Yes, she's my sister too.

Which type of lesbian are you? |

You're a Lipstick Lesbian!
You're the one all the guys want and you like to let them know they can't have you. You're quite popular and you've got good hair. I hate you, but OH how I love you. Let's dance together at prom, you sexy bitch.

=)

yay! new layout Wednesday, April 12, 2006 |

i made this in 5 mins. lol. i'll edit the side bar tomorrow.

Today's highlight was that i finally got to commute home by myself, which brings me to another level of feeling like I can conquer the world just kidding. i was very fearful at first. This fear will take {many} more commuting rides to wane and disappear..Or not... because I sort of fear the big, bad world.

Sat-in in Cai's math class today and I love it so much more than my own math class... I even took notes... Haha. Franz, Cai, and I kind of kept buzzing most of the time, and for that I apologize to the people we possibly bothered.

Quitting!? again. |

Yep, im qutting ro again. sieges are the only reason i play anyway, and after the so called 'RPC' started, it hasn't been all that fun. why wouldn't pRO mimick iRO's USRC? straight up PVP tournament, no AGIT LORD shit. no WILD CARD shit. oh yes, the reason i can think of is money, 5 months of agit lords + 6 months of wild card = a lot of money. anyway, i cant endure 2 hours of lag, trashtalks and whatnot anymore. I'll still be actively botting though. =p

This morning my CoP static party finished Mission 8-4 to close out Chains of Promathia. I did the 'victory lap,' got my Tamas Ring and ended the story arc. yay. promathia missions are fun because its so summoner friendly. The only thing i hate is he always AoE debuff. Yuki always recast protectara and shellra, must be hell for her. anyway, i managed to land a flow on him, "diamond dust". <3 and i always have carby out most of the time (carby tanking promathia), its free mp for me =)
I cant wait for treasures, blue mages!!!

This weekend me and my friends are planning for some raiding on blackrock, moltencore and etc. i wish i can complete my transcendence set. i already have the halo and the leggings. 6 more to go. i want to have an epic mount too. =(
I cant wait for the burning crusade, wisps!!! lol.

geeky.

love. love. love. Friday, April 07, 2006 |

this afternoon, as i was on my way to the drug store to buy medicine for my cold, headache and fever, and a betadine for my knife-cut. i chanced upon a very interesting tricycle driver.

he was of middle age, between late 30's to early 40's i think. he had a very easy smile, and he was not arrogant nor snobbish. i was fixing my bandage, when he struck a conversation with me, telling me how wonderful his trips were that day, since all of them didn't require him to travel to far places in bel-air. he was telling me how nice his day was, and i was kind of taken aback at his positivity.

this is one unique driver, i said to myself. halfway through our conversation, with me explaining to him how i got my cut, he butted in and asked my how my boyfriend was doing. i laughed, and said i don't have one anymore.

"Sa ganda mong 'yan, aba, hindi pwedeng wala kang boyfriend!"

that statement made me smile and appreciate him more. i was feeling really down yesterday, and unknown to the driver, he somehow managed to uplift my spirit. we continued to talk about my choice to not be in a relationship as of the moment, when he suddenly talked about his love life...

"Ang unang asawa ko ang minahal ko ng sobra. Sa kanya ako dead na dead."

Whoa. i asked him how many wives he's had, when he smiled his very toothy grin and told me he had three. Aba! Ibang klase rin 'tong mokong na 'toh! Hahaha. but, of the three, he loved (and still loves) the first. i guess first love really never dies, huh?

he told me about his kids, and how they all were first kids.. haha. we had a very light-hearted conversation about the stupidities of our love lives, when he dropped another bomb into the conversation.

"Sa sobrang pagmamahal ko sa kanya, nabilanggo ako."

uh-oh. hearing a confession this big out of the blue is something that's big enough to make you think about the extent of your love for someone. i asked him why, and he said that he killed his wife's paramour. DING-DING-DING.

"Hindi ko ma.gets kung bakit niya ako niloko. tinanong ko nga sa sarili ko, hindi pa ba sapat ang pagmamahal ko sa kanya? sa sobrang selos ko, napatay ko 'yung lalaki niya."

when i heard those words, i couldn't believe my ears. here i was, baring souls with a man who spent 8 years of his life in prison for killing a man! he was an ex-convict! and i suddenly felt myself stiffen... should i continue our talk? or should i shut up and just focus on getting to the store alive?

he must have noticed the sudden change of air, because he told me things that appeased my uneasy self. :)

"wag kang mag-alala, mabait na ako. nagbagong buhay na ako, para sa anak namin." and he said these words gently, with a smile, and i couldn't help but believe him. then we continued to talk about his life right after he got freed from jail, and how seeing her with a new guy broke his heart, but he chose not to dwell on it for their kid's sake.

"hindi ako galit sa kanya. mahal ko pa rin siya hanggang ngayon, at nagpapasalamat na lang akong nagkaroon kami ng anak. sa anak namin ko na lang ibinubuhos ang lahat ng pagmamahal."

when we finally reached the drug store near jupiter, i thanked him for such a wonderful conversation and told him that he was such an interesting man. he smiled shyly and accepted the fare i handed to him. with one last pahabol, he said to me:

"pareho kaming nag-take ng drugs noon. doon kami nagka-inlaban."

and he sped off with a jovial grin.

now, that must be the sweetest thing. <3.

Wake up sleepy head. |

im sad and heartbroken, i dont wanna wake up this morning.

My family is on Punta Fuego, and they left me here at home because im sick. *sigh* bye bye beach. huhu. this is so sad and pathetic.

i kinda like this guy alot but he doesn't like me. He likes this other girl and when they're together I feel like the 3rd wheel. i hate it when he gives me so much attention when the girl he likes is not around and then completely ignore me when they're together.

i slept at like 1am last night. i really waited for the RO server to come up. it was so worth it, bots are working again. i guess Level-Up lost their eggs, seems like bella's alchy will be a creator after all.

summer classes starts on monday. @_@ gosh.. math+summer???!! plus this hotness. this will not be a fun summer.

!@#$% Saturday, April 01, 2006 |

Today I got my math finals test result, and ladies and gentlemen of the jury, this was my score:




































































not a 36,

























































22? Nice try,































































19? Nope..















































15/100. I want to cry and laugh. Actually I am still in shock, and in denial.